I Need Men

I need men! Give me men! Don’t get me wrong. I have plenty of girlfriends and I love them all for the unique, beautiful, and special women they are. And, I’m happily married to a wonderful man. But I’m feeling something stir and I need to say it:

I – We need men!

What’s happened in America?

Just look at how many entertainers were bullied out of performing for Donald Trump’s inauguration? Andrea Bocelli, I still love you, but what the heck?! And retailers that are now dropping Ivanka Trump’s line – what gives?! Men are handing over their jewels when empty pink guns are pointed in their direction. Fearing a feminist backlash, they simply cave and conform. And all the while women just get more and more angry and frustrated with their “freedom” taking to the streets in vagina hats with lurid signs to demand their equality.

I’ll never forget a story a professor recounted in college. He was walking into the English department when he saw another English professor approaching the door with an armful of books. He waited and held the door open. She stood there and glared at him. Not understanding, he continued to hold the door. She glared some more. He finally realized she was insulted and let the door go…only it hit her arm and her books fell to the ground. He immediately bent down to help her. She growled at him. It was an amusing story of totally ridiculous behavior…and I never forgot it.

Too many women have sold out to a leftist agenda that uses them as cogs in the wheels of a philosophy that seeks to subjugate everyone to its Marxist ideology. Deceived into believing that equal rights includes the right to abortion and behaviors similar to the worst types of men who they claim to detest, today’s feminism is becoming a caricature of itself and is diametrically opposed to the actually well motivated feminists of old who would not countenance such degrading ideas. The good news is its leaders are mostly 70+ and most young feminists are not nearly as committed. They can’t be. They’re too bogged down with the many burdens their freedom has created. Some work two jobs as their husbands play video games; some, as single moms, work endless hours only to come home to arrange play dates and sporting events to try to make up for the lack of a father at home. Others are drunk on hedonistic pursuits that leave them empty and alone. It’s all been a big lie. Apparently contrary to Gloria Steinem’s incessant babbling, fish perhaps do need bicycles after all.

So where are the men today?

Honestly, they’re hard to find. Many, actually wanting to be chivalrous, have been chastised once too often and have given up. Others learned the rules early that in a land flowing with free milk from multiple honeys there’s simply no point in keeping cows at all. Stunted in their emotional and moral development, they continue into middle age before the reality of their meaningless lives catch up and they go hunting for a wife. And hunt they do. Unable to actually relate, many go through the motions to land a woman like a corporate deal, often with specific contractual expectations and nothing more. Sadly, in many cases even Christian men are no exceptions. The cycle of division and alienation between the sexes seems to continuously feed and perpetuate itself in an ever demeaning spiral of misery.

So, what do we do?

How about we start by admitting this hasn’t worked? That the “equality” between the sexes so vehemently shoved down our throats has been a lie, a decoy, a deception. Like comparing apples to oranges, men and women are uniquely different. Their equality lies in their equal value as men and women. The unique qualities that are more typical of each gender should be celebrated and embraced. Instead of forcing people through a lens of suspicion we need to allow people to be who they actually are. It’s so ironic that when it comes to sexuality and the modern push for transgender equality, the same primacy to feelings afforded them are denied and crushed if a man or woman should dare to utter anything that sounds “manly” or “womanly.”

I remember someone I dated for a brief time many years ago. He was kind and generous but he didn’t open the car door for me. I brought it up casually in a discussion we were having about communication. I simply said, “I would like it if you would open the car door for me.” Short of being offended, his response was surprising. He thought about it and then said, that after a failed marriage to a demanding wife, and years of competing with women in business, his natural inclination to treat a woman “like a lady” and do such things had been pounded out of him.

My mother and sister were horrified that I would say anything to him (mostly because I was single for such a long time and I shouldn’t be rocking any boats). What had I done wrong? I communicated the way I wished to be treated and in the process showed respect and appreciation for him as a man. Win. Win. He wasn’t the right guy. But I never forgot his heartfelt frustration. It was instructive.

A comment on a recent article I wrote about the Women’s March said the following:

“Women don’t need pedestals to have dignity; they always need equality for that. It is very self serving for men to want pedestals for women, just a way of keeping them out of public life!!!”

Whereas I certainly agree that women have dignity whether men put them on pedestals or not, I am mystified how someone can think that men exalting women compromises equality (or keeps them out of public life (?)). In fact, in such a scenario it would seem that men are seeing women as superior, an ideal toward which they look up. I’m also very confused as to how the commenter can think the brand of “equality that we’ve experienced these past few decades has given women much dignity at all. Rejecting the superlative for, at best, barely mediocre seems a silly trade.

In the end, being true to who we are and what in our hearts we truly desire is a surer means to establishing the equal dignity of the sexes. If women want men to behave like gentleman toward them (and they should), we need to start expecting that behavior and accepting nothing less – especially for some elusive concept of equality.

And men, I appeal to you. I apologize on behalf of all the male bashing women out there who have tried to bully you into submission, who demean you as a means of exalting themselves and their agenda. I feel for your predicament, but please, stop taking their nonsense. We need you in society. We need you to step up and be real men – courageous, valiant, chivalrous. I beg you, put away all the toys and distractions and direct that energy against the many evils in our culture. We need you to stand up against injustice. We need you to speak out against pornography – those could be your daughters performing and being degraded. We need you to be dads, to be present to your kids, and teach them how to be men and women of honor, of virtue, of principle. Your time is now. We really need you!